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Once upon a time in an Imperial prince's mansion...
WHO: Su Xunxian, Beitang Moran, possibly others later.
WHERE: Lord Chen's mansion
WHEN: ... earlier. A month or so before Beitang Moran shows up to look for Su Xunxian.
WHAT: Overdue conversations, goodbyes...
WARNINGS: Mush, potential for some nsfw, emotions.
Xunxian was, of course, making his preparations. Less in terms of what he was taking, other than identity options, and more in terms of making sure his businesses would withstand reliably his extended absence.
Or worse.
There were far too many people dependent on him to just not prepare for it.
But then, tonight, as most nights, he goes to visit his Lord. Dressed up, a smile on his lips, his eagerness to see Moran completely unfeigned and the sincerity glowing in his eyes.
"Are you in the mood for music, tonight?"
WHERE: Lord Chen's mansion
WHEN: ... earlier. A month or so before Beitang Moran shows up to look for Su Xunxian.
WHAT: Overdue conversations, goodbyes...
WARNINGS: Mush, potential for some nsfw, emotions.
Xunxian was, of course, making his preparations. Less in terms of what he was taking, other than identity options, and more in terms of making sure his businesses would withstand reliably his extended absence.
Or worse.
There were far too many people dependent on him to just not prepare for it.
But then, tonight, as most nights, he goes to visit his Lord. Dressed up, a smile on his lips, his eagerness to see Moran completely unfeigned and the sincerity glowing in his eyes.
"Are you in the mood for music, tonight?"
no subject
His smile is genuine too when he sees his dearest friend come in, and he just looks at the state of his desk and sighs. He's probably not going to finish this tonight anyway. So he just stands up and walks around the desk instead.
"I probably need a drink more than music, but I'll take that too if you will provide."
no subject
He indulges himself in looking at Moran for another moment, his smile loosening a little, before he moves to pour them wine. He raises his cup, then, in lieu of a toast, he says, "I won't be playing with my back to you tonight."
A promise. An admission - one of many he wants to give.
no subject
"These complaints have been unending, and they're just getting worse. We can't afford not to do anything about them anymore."
He gives a small 'tsk!' of annoyance, because really, the Immortals up there on their mountains should know better. Their power struggles can be as Homeric as those of the Imperial Court, but they usually keep it to themselves. For it to spill over...
"Once we know more about what is going on, we'll move. For now, this is a lot of refugees to take care of."
no subject
"I'll get you the information. And you know that any resources you might need to help settle those poor people that I can provide are at your disposal even when I am away, yes?"
Xunxian can't take away what occupies that brilliant, beautiful mind. But what relief he can bring, he will.
He fills his cup again, tops up Moran's, and settles with a guqin, his fingers picking a melody that is soothing but not slow or sad.
no subject
XunXian's reassurances, as usual, lift a weight off his shoulders, and he sort of visibly relaxes at them.
"Of course I know. There is no one else I would trust more with all of it, XunXian."
And with any luck, the settlement will be temporary and these people can go home soon. But of course, that means sending XunXian on assignment, and even though he was the one who made the plans, and decided to send XunXian, in a rare moment of candor for those who are not privy to the Prince's private life, Moan pouts a little.
"... I don't want you to go."
no subject
It's tempting to kneel down before the divan. But unless he's reading Moran's mood very wrong, that would be a bad idea.
"I'll come back." It doesn't sound like a reassurance, nor a simple statement of fact, either. "I'll always come back to you."
It's something he's said when they were young, he knows. Except that this time the emphasis is on the last two words.
He hesitates, then reaches out a hand towards Moran, his voice soft enough that it can be ignored, but not soft enough that Moran genuinely won't hear.
"Come." Come lean against him instead if the pillows. Come be held, if only for a little while.
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He has every confidence in XunXian's abilities. And that has nothing to do with the fact that he will miss him quite terribly. This is a long-term assignment, and there isn't really anyone else in the palace that Moran can be completely unguarded with. He'll be fine, he knows he will be. He still doesn't have to pretend to be happy with it when it's just the two of them.
And if his own arm ends up catching XunXian around the waist a little possessively, then so be it.
"What time are you leaving tomorrow?"
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Around his soulmate.
"After lunch. I'll retire for an afternoon rest and then the news will spread that I am away for a business trip two days later. I'll be... indisposed, until then."
He didn't say he's leaving tomorrow. With Moran, he doesn't have to.
One faint attempt at levity, before he tries to spill the words that would make him vibrate if he were the type of person to do so.
"So if you want me to get something done before that, now is the time to let me know."
no subject
If the cover is to be maintained, he can't. So yes, tonight is all they have until they get separated for Stars know how long.
There's only one thing he wants to ask, and because he is Beitang Moran and he doesn't hold back on these things, he just does.
"Stay with me tonight."
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... and then his heart actually skips a beat at the request.
"Yes." No hesitation, not even enough to get his breathing back under control, though he blinks, then.
He hasn't been asked this since they were boys, since before the pull towards Moran turned from overwhelming to all-encompassing. Since before... before the weight that settled on Moran's shoulder made the life of this precious man so much harder.
The words are breathed out before he consciously chooses to say them. He's been meaning to say them tonight, but he wanted them to have context, to be an offering, to be--
Well, they slip out before he can overthinking them, for once. A fact, backed up by a well of emotion.
"I'll stay. Because you want me to, because I want to. And because I love you."
no subject
He's waited for a long time. Sometimes he's wondered if he shouldn't be the one just tackling this like he has tackled everything else. but there was never any time, and this required more than a throwaway moment. And yet...
And yet what more do they have but this moment right now, and...
He lets out a sigh, and he suddenly sits up, looking a little cross.
"You've made me wait this long, and you had to wait for tonight to say something, XunXian? Really?"
no subject
"I've been right here. But now I won't be."
Sorry, Moran, the look Xunxian gives is more along the lines of 'you're so hot when you're angry' than regretful.
Because if he lets himself be regretful, even for you, he'll start thinking he might only come back... not alive, and neither needs that thought.
But he knows that he will come back.
"For a little while. So I thought I shouldn't make you wait even more."
no subject
He holds up his hand and on his forehead, briefly, the symbol of his constellation glows as the red string seems to crackle to life between them.
"... I'm still going to have to wait. I'm going to have to wait for you to come back."
Because now, there is no time but those few stolen hours.
"Why are you always like that, XunXian?"
no subject
It had been a particularly bad time to ask, too. Then he'd decided it doesn't matter. He loves this man, and red string or no, that is not going to change.
Then he found out his fears were unfounded in the first place.
Anyway. That doesn't matter now.
"I will have you know that this is the first time I've ever confessed my love. You can't say I'm always like that when it's without precedent."
A pause, and he grows softer, more serious.
"I'm yours, Moran. I've always been yours. And I always will be."
He didn't realize Moran was waiting for him to say it, because he thought it was obvious and Moran was biding his time. But that doesn't matter.
no subject
And then the minute became days, months, years... and as long as XunXian was by his side, it didn't matter so much. Words were not needed.
He still loves the ones he's hearing right now, even if those are, in a way, unnecessary. Of course XunXian is his. And he always has been and always will be. Fate or not.
"... How am I supposed to let you go now? When I don't even know when you'll be back?"
no subject
How has he let Moran go, before? At campaigns, when his life was in danger...?
But no, that is not for now.
"Because you know there is work to be done, and I am the one who can do it without exacerbating the situation." He can complicate the situation, but in a way that will leave people's personal lives put into question, not political connections. Nor draw suspicion to the Emperor's court.
It's an effort, but Xunxian manages a smile, and not a fake one either. "They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder? Not that I think mine has anywhere left to go in that direction."
no subject
But then XunXian says that, and Moran has to scoff.
"Neither does mine."
Could he love XunXian more? Honestly, he doesn't know. Simply, this has become part of the air he breathes for so long, even if things were left unsaid, that he basically doesn't know what it feels like to not love XunXian.
"XunXian... Come to my bed."