Once upon a time in an Imperial prince's mansion...

[topoiran]

WHO: Su Xunxian, Beitang Moran, possibly others later.
WHERE: Lord Chen's mansion
WHEN: ... earlier. A month or so before Beitang Moran shows up to look for Su Xunxian.
WHAT: Overdue conversations, goodbyes...
WARNINGS: Mush, potential for some nsfw, emotions.

Xunxian was, of course, making his preparations. Less in terms of what he was taking, other than identity options, and more in terms of making sure his businesses would withstand reliably his extended absence.

Or worse.

There were far too many people dependent on him to just not prepare for it.

But then, tonight, as most nights, he goes to visit his Lord. Dressed up, a smile on his lips, his eagerness to see Moran completely unfeigned and the sincerity glowing in his eyes.

"Are you in the mood for music, tonight?"

Comments

[beitangmoran]

"Then I won't see you off."

If the cover is to be maintained, he can't. So yes, tonight is all they have until they get separated for Stars know how long.

There's only one thing he wants to ask, and because he is Beitang Moran and he doesn't hold back on these things, he just does.

"Stay with me tonight."

[topoiran]

Xunxian hums lightly with a nod at the first part.

... and then his heart actually skips a beat at the request.

"Yes." No hesitation, not even enough to get his breathing back under control, though he blinks, then.

He hasn't been asked this since they were boys, since before the pull towards Moran turned from overwhelming to all-encompassing. Since before... before the weight that settled on Moran's shoulder made the life of this precious man so much harder.

The words are breathed out before he consciously chooses to say them. He's been meaning to say them tonight, but he wanted them to have context, to be an offering, to be--

Well, they slip out before he can overthinking them, for once. A fact, backed up by a well of emotion.

"I'll stay. Because you want me to, because I want to. And because I love you."

[beitangmoran]

He feels XunXian's heart accelerating, but he doesn't move.

He's waited for a long time. Sometimes he's wondered if he shouldn't be the one just tackling this like he has tackled everything else. but there was never any time, and this required more than a throwaway moment. And yet...

And yet what more do they have but this moment right now, and...

He lets out a sigh, and he suddenly sits up, looking a little cross.

"You've made me wait this long, and you had to wait for tonight to say something, XunXian? Really?"

[topoiran]

Xunxian's hand follows Moran's motion away, fingerpads only resting on the smooth cheek.

"I've been right here. But now I won't be."

Sorry, Moran, the look Xunxian gives is more along the lines of 'you're so hot when you're angry' than regretful.

Because if he lets himself be regretful, even for you, he'll start thinking he might only come back... not alive, and neither needs that thought.

But he knows that he will come back.

"For a little while. So I thought I shouldn't make you wait even more."

[beitangmoran]

"You've been right here for how long?"

He holds up his hand and on his forehead, briefly, the symbol of his constellation glows as the red string seems to crackle to life between them.

"... I'm still going to have to wait. I'm going to have to wait for you to come back."

Because now, there is no time but those few stolen hours.

"Why are you always like that, XunXian?"

[topoiran]

It takes his breath away, to see the thread between them. There has been one brief period when he was afraid that his string did not lead to Moran somehow.

It had been a particularly bad time to ask, too. Then he'd decided it doesn't matter. He loves this man, and red string or no, that is not going to change.

Then he found out his fears were unfounded in the first place.

Anyway. That doesn't matter now.

"I will have you know that this is the first time I've ever confessed my love. You can't say I'm always like that when it's without precedent."

A pause, and he grows softer, more serious.

"I'm yours, Moran. I've always been yours. And I always will be."

He didn't realize Moran was waiting for him to say it, because he thought it was obvious and Moran was biding his time. But that doesn't matter.

[beitangmoran]

The thread has always been some sort of unspoken thing between them. They have both known of it for years, but things happened that made it not an afterthought, but something that could not be dealt with right this minute.

And then the minute became days, months, years... and as long as XunXian was by his side, it didn't matter so much. Words were not needed.

He still loves the ones he's hearing right now, even if those are, in a way, unnecessary. Of course XunXian is his. And he always has been and always will be. Fate or not.

"... How am I supposed to let you go now? When I don't even know when you'll be back?"

[topoiran]

Xunxian swallows down the small sound of misery at these words. He...

How has he let Moran go, before? At campaigns, when his life was in danger...?

But no, that is not for now.

"Because you know there is work to be done, and I am the one who can do it without exacerbating the situation." He can complicate the situation, but in a way that will leave people's personal lives put into question, not political connections. Nor draw suspicion to the Emperor's court.

It's an effort, but Xunxian manages a smile, and not a fake one either. "They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder? Not that I think mine has anywhere left to go in that direction."

[beitangmoran]

Well, of course he knows there is work to be done, and of course XunXian will see to it because when Moran asks him to do something, XunXian delivers always.

But then XunXian says that, and Moran has to scoff.

"Neither does mine."

Could he love XunXian more? Honestly, he doesn't know. Simply, this has become part of the air he breathes for so long, even if things were left unsaid, that he basically doesn't know what it feels like to not love XunXian.

"XunXian... Come to my bed."